So, here it is, July 18. Three months to the day since my dad died.
A lot has happened in the last three months. Mum is taking on her own financial responsibilities. She is gaining some independence of movement. She is making her own decisions, for better or for worse.
When my dad was still with us, Mum absolutely refused to use a cell phone. She said she couldn’t hear on it, couldn’t see the keys, lots and lots of reasons. Over the last month, she decided that she wanted that access and has reactivated his cell phone with the same number.
That number is listed in my cell phone directory as Dad.
Imagine getting a phone call, flipping open your phone, and seeing dad on the screen. The first time it happened, I froze. It took me a few seconds to actually put the phone to my ear, to hear my mum burbling about using the cell phone for the first time.
This past week, she was having some problem with her landline; it was temporary and my brother fixed it handily. I was calling her on her landline and when I couldn’t get through, I thought, well, maybe she is still having problems. So I called her cell phone.
The number is still listed in my phone as Dad. I just can’t bear to change it. But here’s the thing. The message is still my dad’s voice. It’s a typical machine, saying “You have reached the phone of…” and then my dad, speaking his name. I don’t know, after the initial wash of emotions, I am thinking that I like that his voice is still there. At least, I can hear it every once in awhile.
I’m sure my sister will completely fall apart if she ever hears it, though. She is still very angry about my dad dying.